I remember a Multiply post by a newly-married church friend who wrote that there were moments each day that he would wake up to enjoy the sunlight shining on his wife's face and thank God for providing him with such a wonderful lady. I share his sentiments.

It's indeed been a blessing to enjoy every waking moment with my dear wife Sue. We cherish the precious moments each morning when we walk along the canal to work; and before we reach home each evening we would already be exchanging sweet messages expressing how much we long to see each other.

Well, we're only entering the third month of married life but it already feels like we've been married for a lifetime. The stresses of learning to live with a new person have definitely been quite an experience for us; coupled with settling the remnants of house renovation work as well as coping with everyday concerns such as housework. And there are the times that we have carved out to spend with our families; which we have had to balance with the precious moments that we spend in youth ministry. I can only say that it's been God's grace that has carried us through.

It's my prayer that as we continue to journey through life walking hand in hand, that we would continue to keep our focus on the One who has been good to us all this while; that when the time comes for us to present an account of our lives to Him, that He would count us both as faithful servants; co-labourers in His kingdom of love and grace.

    The past two weeks have gone by in a whirl. I have apparently undergone two of the most stressful transitions in life - moving house and getting married. Everything's still surreal - with the latest being our move to our beautiful new home yesterday. But what's on my mind is the special day 29 December 2007, which will forever be etched in my memories.

    It was a day filled with precious memories - of a church filled with many dear friends and relatives; of a ceremony sealed with a solemn vow; of a celebration of love, of song, of youth... Most of all it was a recognition of the God who has been the source of who we were, are and will be.

    I am deeply moved when I think of all the people who worked so hard to make our wedding day such a special one not only for us, but for all who came. We have since spoken to a number of people who came to the wedding. Many of them have shared that they were deeply moved and ministered by the love that was felt at the wedding. I know it was the love of God that they felt. And we are deeply thankful that the day was so special.

    It's still new adjusting to married life, and whenever someone asks about my marital status, I still find it strange telling them that I'm married and the husband to a wonderful woman. Also adjusting to the fact that I'm now the head of a new household with its share of ups and downs. That's all part of life I guess; and as my dear youth pastor Matthew shared during the wedding - there's no such thing as perfect people and definitely no such thing as a perfect marriage.

    I know that as the magic of the "honeymoon effect" gradually loses its shine and the realities of married life sink in, we'd probably have our fair share of difficult moments. I guess that's when we'd look back on that special day and remember the God who made all things possible for us; to cling to the biblical bridegroom and to remember that He will always be there for His beautiful bride.

Christmas morning has always been a time when I wake up and allow the night's euphoria to settle down; a time when I take a second look at my presents and remember the people who gave them to me; a time when I reflect on the things that hold meaning and the people I love.

Christmas Eve 2007 was special. In the midst of a busy wedding preparation and house renovation schedule, Sue and I were still able to spend time with the people close to us. For me, the Christmas Eve lunch with my cousins was precious in that it was a rare gathering for us - only the second time in thirty years that we have gathered together as cousins with no reason other than to spend time with each other. Sue and I have been together for almost two years, and I've been blessed to see how close her family is. It's since been my desire to also see my family grow closer. Really hope to start a tradition of gathering the cousins on Christmas Eve - and more than that - to see us walk through the journey of life together...

In the evening we headed over to Sue's grandma's place to enjoy the family Christmas dinner. What was meaningful was the time spent together. Family members shared that when Sue's grandma passed away more than a year ago, there were some fears that the family would not meet as often and be as close as they have always been. They gave thanks that this did not happen. Instead, the Christmas dinner was also a time to remember Sue's grandma and the full life that she led. All was made more meaningful when we headed over to the house of a close friend of the grandmother - to share with her the Christmas love and join our voices in song.

It's different when we choose to remember the meaning of Christmas from the perspective of someone whose life had been changed by the first Christmas - when God first came to earth in the form of man. That's why we commemorate this season through the sharing of love - the love that was first given to us. I'm postulating that one of the reasons why God gave us families was for us to experience to a small extent the intimacy and love that He shared within His own "family" - the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

    "The date of the final resale transaction has been fixed for Monday 3rd December 2007 at 4pm." That letter from the HDB, just two and a half weeks ago, was what we had been looking out for since we first went to the HDB resale office more than a month ago. It meant that we would finally be the proud owners of our own house.

    Today, that reality began to sink in as we opened the doors to the construction workers who will transform our place into an "Asian contemporary resort". That's the theme for our flat, and our purchases over the past few months - the furniture, lights, toilet fittings, and even the tiles - have all conformed to this idea.

    We can now say with a certain authority that we know the difference between a "solid" table top and a similar item made from "post-form". Then there's also our familiarity with furniture precincts such as IMM and famous lighting districts such as Balestier. Throw in the occasional warehouse sale, and we are now poised to dispense some measure of advise to future homeowners.

    We are thankful that all our purchases have been good so far. There have of course been a number of occasions that we have regretted buying certain items, but that's all part and parcel of life. And we're of course thankful that we managed to secure a good renovation contractor who has always been ready to hear our new ideas - from a feature wall made of "broken-marble" mosaic, to a walnut brown bar counter in the kitchen.

    Today as we took one final look before the construction workers came in, we took a deep breath and said a prayer for us and for the house - that it will always be a safe place for our family, and that it will be an abode to all those who seek meaning in a dying world. It's highly symbolic that the workers were lugging in the huge bags of cement on the first day of the renovation work - that's as we desire that God's love will be the cement with which our marriage will be constructed upon.

I've suddenly become a "sort-of-an-expert" on renovation work; now I know the difference between homogenous and ceramic tiles, between laminate and parquet flooring, between solid and granite surfaces... the list goes on... It has also become somewhat of an interest to observe the way mosaic is laid out in public places, as well as to assess how a feature wall can accentuate the aesthetics of a room...

Yes, the renovation bug has hit in; not least because we will soon begin renovation works for our new house. Nothing too major - just hacking off the old toilets completely, adding a new kitchen cabinet top, laminating the floor of our bedrooms, adding a laminate platform for our balcony, re-wiring and re-plumbing the entire house, and giving the place a new coat of paint. Still, Sue and I have become "somewhat-of-an-expert" in the renovation process, no thanks to our sourcing of at least five different quotations from the numerous home renivation companies. We are thankful that we finally managed to decide on one company last week, and will soon begin the process of choosing materials for our place.

Things have been on the acceleration for us over the last couple of weeks; I'm thankful that my new job has been wonderful :) I realise that I love teaching - not least because the young people under my care are so much like the youths in church. It has been three teaching weeks so far, and I feel I have largely done a good job; most challenging to keep my students engaged during the after-lunch sessions from 1-3pm, but the sessions have been nonetheless fun. I'm also continually surprised by students who take the initiative to play Youtube videos and perform skits during their presentations, and that without the need for me to instruct them on this.

Sue reminded me today that we have less than two months to our wedding. It still hasn't sunk in yet that within the blinking of an eye, December will pass and both of us will embark on our married life together. What I am reminded to do, however, is to prepare myself for the upcoming transition that will change my life forever. And I know nothing better than to ask the God of my life for His guidance through it all.

It's been a restful few weeks at home supervising the upgrading work and packing up the house in preparation for the Big Move which will likely take place before and after the wedding.

This has certainly been a season of transition for me as I close my chapter as an administrator in the youth sector to handle more direct work teaching the youths - I will be lecturing at a polytechnic come next week.

It is and has always been my passion to work with the youths - that was why I made the switch from the journalism world to the youth sector more than two years ago. I did not once regret the move, and these two years have been a joy for me as I learnt the ins and outs of the youth sector, and how youth organisations work on a national level.

Beyond the arena of work, I have really grown to love an office culture that cultivates individual growth and personal relationships. There have been many colleagues whom I have grown fond of over these past two years, and I have come to call them my friends - even my bosses who have been really encouraging and have taken time to nurture me both professionally and personally (I write this not because they're here on Multiply as well, but this is something that I've come to cherish during the span of my working life there).

Ecclesiastes 3 reads: "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven... What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time... I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil - this is God's gift to man."

I'm thankful that God gave me those two good years in my previous company; and as I take the next few steps in my life - to embark on a new career, to buy a new house and to get married - I aspire to take pleasure in all that He has given me - to the glory of His name.

Over the past few mornings I have been awakened by what I have termed as the "Seven Dwarves Symphony" - a chorus of shouts accompanied by the loud pounding noises one hears when large items are thrown on the ground in rapid succession....

Yes. Upgrading has come to my block. And my turn will be next week. In the meantime, I am being treated to a foretaste of what is to come - from the housing contractors who seem to enjoy throwing the upgrading fittings onto the concrete floor just outside my room, resulting in the series of noises which have roused me to my senses each morning.

In the midst of all the upcoming renovations, Sue and I have surprised ourselves by buying a new HDB flat. It was just two weeks ago that we decided to wait until a more appropriate time. However, just days after that decision was made, God provided us with a beautiful apartment unit, and we made the move to quickly secure the place.

Our new dwelling place is ideal for the following reasons:

1) It is a 5-room flat, and the apartment will be more suitable for us in the future when we finally have children of our own. It also has a large living room space which we hope to function as an area for future ministry use.

2) The apartment is located conveniently in Clementi, in-between both our work places, and is situated next to a scenic canal. It is also located next to a running track, a children's playground, and other recreational facilities.

3) The apartment was reasonably-priced and is in an almost move-in condition. Most of the fittings are still in a reasonable condition and we foresee not having to carry out major renovation work.

4) All our parents and close friends like the apartment.

In Singapore today, buying a home is one of the most significant challenges faced by most newly-married couples. Sue and I truly feel that we've been blessed immeasurable by God in this aspect - that the whole process has been almost obstacle-free for us. Indeed this purchase has been a future-oriented one, and we can imagine ourselves bringing up our children in the new place; taking them for long walks along the canal, and teaching them how to cycle, rollerblade etc...

We can also imagine our new home being used for ministry purposes; just as my current home was used to host my weekly cell group. It is our desire that the new apartment will be consecrated for God's use in whatever way that He desires to use it. He has blessed us with so much, and it is only appropriate that all that we have be used for His glory. It is hoped that this will be a metaphor for our lives as well - that the both of us, together with our future family, will be completely consecrated for His use according to His perfect will :)

When I learnt I was going to sit in for this year's National Day Rally speech, one of the first things that Sue asked me to do was to pay special attention to any new announcements on housing - that given the recent surge in the property market prices. As a matter of fact, property was one of the items mentioned in the speech; although it did not affect us as much as we had hoped for it to.

To put things in perspective, Sue and I took part in the recent HDB balloting exercise for 4-room and 5-room flats in mature estates. Although we already have a 3-room flat, we were however thinking ahead and preparing for the arrival of our children, when the time comes for that to materialise. Together with another couple from church, we had been eagerly anticipating the release of the balloting results, for the 354 flats that have been released. We finally received the results yesterday, only to learn that of the 10,200 people who had applied, our queue number was 6,071 i.e. we would only be able to get our flat if 6,070 people reject the flats.

In all honesty, although we knew that it was very difficult to get an apartment in this manner, we were definitely disappointed. A flurry of sms messages were sent to each other through the day, and when we finally met last night, we came to the conclusion that we might have to look through the Classifieds and search for a place on the open market.

Amidst all the searching, I was reminded of the current upgrading work that my flat will be undergoing soon. One side episode was the sudden appearance of a head outside my kitchen window this morning before work. "Uncle... Need to remove the metal clothes rack. Can or not?" I was rather startled, although thankful to be in a modest state of decency. Upon discussion with the foreign worker, who was with one other man suspended inside a gondola outside the window, I learnt that some of my furnishings had to be removed for the upgrading works to proceed. I only agreed after discussing with his foreman, a well-spoken gentleman who was obviously intrigued by the incident "Your house the only one with this rack. We see how - if can we'll return to you after taking it out."

Considering all the major upgrading works that will be conducted soon, and the preparations for our upcoming marriage, we finally decided to hold off the search for a new place until another time. Both of us had gone to God to inquire about this matter, and we were both of the opinion that this period might not be the best time to buy a new place. All in good timing; all in His timing.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

These words by missionary martyr Jim Elliot have resounded in my heart ever since I first heard them many years ago. They reveal the heartbeat of Wheaton College graduate Jim Elliot, who chose to surrender his worldly career and life to God, venturing into Equador against conventional wisdom and making first contact with the Auca Indians, a tribe known for their brutality. Jim was later killed, along with four of his friends, by the Aucas, who had mistakenly assumed that the five men intended to eat them. The entire tribe later came to give their lives to Christ through the work of the Holy Spirit, after Jim's widow Elisabeth took her daughter Valerie to live among the tribe for two and a half years. The ministry of Elisabeth and the other widows touched the Aucas as they could not understand how these women could forgive them despite what they had done to their husbands.

I was reminded of the Elliots' story yesterday after watching a musical staged by Mt Carmel BP Church entitled Love Above All (the photo above depicts a young Elisabeth who was at that time experiencing emotional turmoil, torn between her love for Jim and her love for missions).

Attending the musical with a group of youth leaders whom I'm mentoring, I posed a question to them - Was it "worth it" for Jim Elliot to make the trip to the Auca Indians? While I'm interested to hear their response, I'm personally at a loss regarding how to answer my own question. I mean - is the loss of human life ever "worth it"? Even if it results in the salvation of an entire tribe? What about the current hostage crisis in Afghanistan and the death of the Korean pastor? Was it "worth it" for the Koreans to make the trip in the first place? Even if through this incident the entire Christian community has been rallied in prayer? I don't know the answer; only one person does. 

John 15:13 reads "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." It was because God first loved us, that's why He sent His son Jesus to descend to earth as a man to die for the salvation for all mankind. There is indeed no greater love than this.

I'm certain that Jim and Elisabeth Elliot fully understood this principle. In her book Under the Shadow of the Almighty, Elisabeth shared the passion behind her decision to travel with Jim into the mission field. She wrote about Jim's unwavering decision to give up a respectable job as a teacher to pursue his calling. It was the same for her - that's why she chose to forgive those who killed her husband and made the unimaginable decision to instead bring her daughter to live among the Aucas. I'm certain these were choices that were modelled after a man who chose to die so that all humanity be saved - the life of Jesus the Christ.

 

The message from last Sunday's Youth Day Service is still imprinted on my mind. It was a celebration of youth, and the pastor spoke on the different types of youths present in today's society - the poseurs, the muggers, the emo, the sporty, the cool...

Then he shared personal stories of the youths in church, to illustrate how some of them have grown in stature over the years.

The story of one particular youth brought tears to my eyes. Fast and furious they flowed; uncontrollably, and unashamedly.

This was the story of someone I have been mentoring since I first answered God's call and entered youth ministry five years ago. He was then an ordinary youth who was one day chosen to be a leader because he was a year older than the others. The journey has been long, and I still retain many fond memories of the times spent together over the years, as I started a mentoring relationship with him and other youth leaders. Since then, this youth has grown much in stature, and it still brings tears to my eyes as I reflect on the key milestones in his life - footprints in his life which I know that God had honoured me with - by using me as His instrument to shape the life of this youth.

It dawned upon me then that I have been serving in the youth ministry for the past five years. On reflection, this constitutes one-sixth of my physical life, and it's indeed no small part. Looking back, I don't think I would ever have imagined that God would take me down this path. I remember the first youth camp that I helped out in so many years ago and the intensity of the emotions then still brings tears to my eyes now - just as it had brought tears to my eyes then - when as youth leaders, we cried our hearts out as we prayed for the youths of this generation.

As I started to dry my tears during the service last Sunday, I was again reminded of God's call in my life - to be a minister to young people in need of Him, and to mentor young leaders to walk the way of Christ. This is something I know I want to continue doing all my life - or at least as long as He continues to call me in this direction.

I can understand now why couples are so busy preparing for their marriage. For starters there's the wedding preparations - drawing up the guest list, booking the church and dinner locations, choosing a bridal studio and going for the photoshoot, finalising the helper list, meeting the wedding coordinators, drawing up the actual day wedding schedule, deciding on the folral decorations, the list goes on...

Besides that, many couples are also tied down with the other physical preparations - such as deciding where to live after the wedding; and if they decide to live on their own, they would then need to buy an apartment and renovate the new home. 

I'm thankful that for us, this process has been simplified somewhat. We're indeed very blessed that there's no need to look for a new home, as I'm already living in an apartment which I call my own. What's however important is that when Sue moves in, for the place to be "ours" and not only "mine". Hence the need for renovations so that the apartment can be shaped by both our personalities. And since my flat will conveniently also go through upgrading, it makes sense to take advantage of the situation and concurrently renovate the apartment.

We've therefore been spending much of our time together seeking out items for our place. A very enjoyable experience overall as both of us enjoy beautiful things and it's been quite fun choosing lovely things that we both know we'll enjoy - like the delicate Thai silk which we bought during our recent trip to Bangkok (featured in the photo above and which will be used to make curtains), the lovely maroon-coloured bed linen at 70% off (thanks to the Great Singapore Sale), and our latest acquistion - a comfy King Coil mattress and bed frame set... 

We know there're many more things that we'll need to purchase together - like a new dining room set, toilet sinks, a desk for the study room etc; but so far we're happy with all our purchases. I think the main reason why this is so is because we've both learnt to consider what each other likes - and to accommodate each other every time we make a decision. In many ways this is representative of the marriage life, during which we know we'll have to make many decisions together. It's not merely the humourous view of marriage that depicts the husband as the head of the house and the wife as the neck that turns him around; rather it's more that both husband and wife share joint responsibility of the household and that all decisions are made in mutual agreement. It's truly a high calling for the husband to be the head of the household, and this is a position that is only tenable if he is under the authority of God.

Truly marriage preparation means more than just preparing for the wedding - it's preparing for a whole life to be lived together under the authority of God.

 

We had a most enjoyable day embarking on one of our first major projects together as a couple - the wedding photoshoot...

A feature of most weddings in contemporary Singapore, the photoshoot has often been associated with long hours of preparation, bad weather, stressful schedules, persistent photographers, chessy photos, the list goes on... But thankfully our wedding photoshoot had none of that.

We awoke on the 24th May 2007 to bright sunshine, blue sky and white clouds - quite a contrast to the weather forecast of "thunderstorms and rain over a few areas in the late morning", a phenomenon which had occurred consistently for the past two days. It was one instance when the weatherman got it wrong, and we enjoyed the sunny weather all day long.

Assembling our items in packages both big and small, we hailed a taxi and made our way to the quaint photo studio nestled in Emerald Hill, a relic of an era lost in time; but all the more fitting to serve as the location for our photoshoot.

We were grateful to the make-up artist, who had a special way of transforming my beloved fiancee into the different personas of an Elizabethan princess, a cottage girl, a Peranakan matriach and of course a radiant bride. This complemented the sweet flowers and dazzling accessories, and all at once we appreared ready to walk down the aisle there and then.

Our photographer too, seemed specially selected to suit our personality and preferences in the manner with which he took the photos. He was able to transform our selected locations of Emerald Hill, Botanic Gardens and Sentosa into places that seemed either warped from a different era, or transported from another part of the world. And he never spoke a harsh word, gently nudging us to "look at each other as though you're whispering to one another", or to "smile harder", or to "turn around and look as though someone just called out to you".

As the sun set and we finally made our way home, we could only express our thanks to God our Father in Heaven who has taken care of us all the way; by providing us with wonderful weather, by giving us a wonderful make-up artist and photographer, but most importantly, by giving us one another to love and cherish.

There's no doubt that the day did not go by without its unplanned hitches - we forgot to take our floral bouquet for the outdoor shoot, we forgot to bring our extra outdoor outfits for the location shots, we had to rush to Sentosa to catch the sunset by the beach, we faced some obstacles in removing the bridal gown... However, in all, the day was a most enjoyable one for the both of us, and a day we will remember for a long time to come.

Our marriage preparation class mentors shared with us that the wedding is like one major project that each couple has to work together on. And in many ways, although the marriage is more important than the wedding per se, but the wedding in and of itself serves as a physical representation of how the couple would work together for the rest of their lives. Taken in such a light, I'm thankful that our wedding photoshoot was such a memorable experience for the both of us. To God be the Glory!

Today we've finally confirmed the major arrangements for our wedding on the 29th December this year. After weeks of persistent phone calls by Sue and her mum, we finally found a place suitable for the occasion, and decided on the lunch reception venue for the wedding - at a cosy restaurant situated at the foot of Mt Faber...

By confirming the lunch reception venue, we're now able to confirm the church - Grace Assembly of God at Tanglin - which is a really warm church that both Sue and I love. And since the family dinner venue had already been decided upon earlier, it seems we're now set and ready to go :)

It's truly been quite a busy time for us both. Within the span of one week we've bought my suit and the wedding bands. We're also taking time to prepare for the photoshoot which will take place a little more than a week away.

Today I also took time to finally draw up the list of wedding helpers - and have realised that there are so many people who will be involved in the wedding - can say I'm overwhelmed by the love that these dear friends and family members have for us - in offering to help us in so many ways; from our cousins who will be the key members of the worship team, to our dear CG members who will help out with the reception, and of course the youths who will be a great blessing in serving as ushers. I can only say that God has been with us every step of the journey - especially by bringing to us so many people to minister to us in their service at the wedding.

The road is long, and we've been learning at our marriage preparation class that the wedding should not be the only thing we focus on as we come together as one. What's more important is to look towards our marriage, which will be the start of a new family that I will build together with Sue - to cleave from our parents, and to hold fast to each other, creating a new family which is founded on God as its bedrock. A cord of three strands is not easily divided - and the marriage has to encompass our love for God above our love for each other.

Two weeks ago, one of my colleagues asked me for my opinion on what would be a good name for an upcoming conference on mentoring. I modified one of her options and suggested "Living & Leaving a Legacy" as a possible title. In essence I feel that's what mentoring is about - to live out one's life as a living testimony for others to follow.

It's been a few months now since the senior youths in my church came together as a cohort, leaving their previous cell groups for the newly-formed Senior Zone which comprises three new cell groups. It has indeed been a joy for me to take up the role of mentoring the leaders of these groups on a fortnightly basis together with two other adult leaders.

Over the course of these past few months, we have seen old bonds strengthening, new friendships forming and newcomers receiving Christ as their personal Saviour. That these youths have since integrated with the rest of the youths has been really wonderful for us, and it’s truly been an honour and a privilege to partner with God in the entire process.

The life of every group goes through four stages - forming, norming, storming and performing. I feel that the current Senior Zone has made it through the forming stage – when its members begin to get comfortable with each other, and are now at the norming stage – when the members begin to form regular routines and establish a modus operandi and group culture. My prayer is that the group will steady itself as it goes through the storming stage – when the group encounters trials, and eventually settle into the performing stage – when group members are finally able to realise their fullest potential.

21st January 2007. The day I begin my third decade of existence. A number of people have asked me how I feel now that I'm 30 years-old. I really don't know and can't say - afterall I've only been 30 for less than an hour :) What I can say is that I'm thankful to God for every day of my life. It's really been a wonderful journey so far... and I know that as long as I continue to walk closely to Him, that I'll enjoy this path that He has directed me towards...

I have so much to give thanks to God for this year - the first thing on my mind is definitely the wonderful girl whom God has provided for me as my fiancee, my dearest Sue. These eight months together have been eight of the most enjoyable months in my life. Yes, of course our relationship has had its ups and downs, but I'm most thankful to God for providing someone who understands me and loves me for who I am - and that in loving me, she always seeks my interests above hers. I know I try to do the same for her - not always easy, but what I'm certain is that when we choose to consider each other above ourselves, that's when we build a relationship that lasts. More so when ultimately we consider God above ourselves...

I'm also thankful for my family. Although things have not always been a bed of roses, but I know that when push comes to shove, they'll be there for me. It's a very unusual relationship I have with the different sets of family members, but am very thankful that all of these relationships are built on love - the love that we have for each other.

Youth ministry. I know this is my calling in life - can almost see myself here even when I turn 50, but I know that when God directs you towards your calling, it doesn't matter how, what or where, but that you'll always be filled with an inner joy that can only come from Him.

My job - can almost say that there's no other place I rather be... I'm not sure what the future holds, but I know that I'm meant to be here this season - that's all that matters :)

Thank you God for everything :)

Relationships

As a Christian, my worldview on relationships has been shaped by biblical teachings. It is my belief that relationships were created to be perfect, as exemplified by the perfect relationship that God shared with man in the Garden of Eden. However, after the Fall of Man, an account of which was presented in Genesis Chapter 3, the relationship between God and man was broken. As a result, relationships among mankind now mirror the severed divine connection and are consequently flawed.

It is my view that one’s perceptions on relationships stem from one’s childhood view of these associations. For instance, people growing up in complete and loving families tend to have a more healthy perspective on what a good relationship should be. These individuals would then be more inclined to perceive that healthy relationships are the norm. Conversely, people growing up in dysfunctional families develop a distorted view on relationships, no thanks to the erroneous methods of intra-family relations, which are learnt from the parents by the children, and then perceived by the latter to be the modus operandi for societal relationships.

In any familial relationship, modelling is an important aspect which shapes the child’s conception of what a relationship should be. This is seen in healthy families, where the children tend to imitate their parents in the way they lead their own families in the future. For dysfunctional family situations where children do not have ideal role models to look up to, children could persist in imitating their parents, thereby perpetuating yet another dysfunctional family. Alternatively, the children could choose to model after another family which in their opinion appeared to be more wholesome. In this instance, they would learn characteristics of the healthy family, which would then be replicated when they eventually build a family of their own. My own life illustrates the second alternative, especially since I grew up in a divorced family. I remember having a particularly high regard for my good friend’s father, hearing from him how his father had since young taken him for breakfast every morning before sending him to school. I told myself then that I would one day want to be such a father to my children.

Finance

            I adhere strongly to the view that financial management is one of the most important aspects of life. This is based on the biblical principle that all that we own – our finances included – do not belong to us, but to God. We have been commanded by God to be a good steward of all that we have – as all of these ultimately belong not to us, but to God.

In order to become an astute steward of one’s finances, it has been my belief that there is a need to manage one’s finances at the onset of working life. I learnt this habit from two of my friends, whom I had observed were keeping tabs on every dollar that they spent. I decided that I would keep such a record from the moment I started work. I have since developed a financial record which accounts for my personal expenditure as spelt out under set categories which I update daily.

            One of my principles of financial management stems from the concept of delayed gratification – that savings is an essential way to prepare me for the future. In that regard, I am careful not to spend on unnecessary expenses and have attempted to minimise spending in order that I could use my hard-earned money in the future. I do not, however, lead an austere life, and will make the occasional purchase should I desire to reward myself for a job well done, or to encourage myself during a trying moment. I believe that money should be spent if only to acquire pleasures in life that would contribute towards my enjoyment of life. I also feel that while the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil, money in itself is not evil, and when spent in a meaningful way, could contribute towards individuals deriving meaning in life.

            Given my view that money is not everything, and that prudent financial management could result in the achievement of financial freedom, I have chosen to invest my finances in areas which could generate high returns. This is premised on the notion that younger people do not have as many responsibilities, and can therefore afford to take slightly higher risks in terms of how they invest their money. I have therefore taken that approach in my financial management, while at the same time diversifying my assets, and also being careful to set aside finances for emergency purposes. To that end, I am hopeful that I would on one hand be able to manage my finances effectively, thereby coming up with a coherent retirement plan, while on the other hand utilise my resources to derive meaning in life.

Divorce

            The rising number of divorce cases in the United States and also in Singapore has made me feel that many marriages today do not stand the test of time. A common conversation topic among some of the older members in my family has been the notion that in the past, children did not have the freedom to choose their spouses. The divorce rate then was however surprisingly lower than today, despite children having the freedom to choose whom they love and marry. One point that could explain this trend was that couples in the past did not consider divorce as a viable option as this was socially unacceptable, in comparison to the concept of divorce today as a legal and even preferable way to end a bad marriage. Another possible explanation is that couples today do not think clearly before they get married, as illustrated by the numerous Hollywood couplings and divorces.

My worldview on divorce has largely been shaped by my own parents’ divorce. They separated when I was 3-years-old, and so the impact was especially strong. Although the final divorce took place more than ten years later, the fact that my parents lived apart definitely had a strong bearing on my childhood. For instance, one recurring memory I have was of my paternal grandparents hiding from me in their house so that I would not be able to find them, and subsequently be more agreeable to let my mother take me home. This was especially since my paternal grandparents spoilt me with many material pleasures and I hesitated going home as I felt that my maternal grandparents did not love me as much as my paternal grandparents did. It was also compounded by my maternal grandparents’ scolding. Naturally a child’s perception of love corresponds with the amount of material pleasures which he or she receives; and I was no likewise.

In recent years, there has been a body of statistics that has premised that children from divorced backgrounds tend to end up divorced themselves. Coupled with my own family history of divorce, I have developed a personal determination not to be a statistic myself. To this end I believe strongly in the importance of pre-marital counselling to help couples cope with marital issues even before they get married. I am of the view that couples should date with the end point of marriage in their minds. This is as marriage culminates in the collision of two disparate individuals, who come together in one body and in one spirit. As such, it is important for individuals to continually communicate at all times – both before and during their marriage – to increase their physical and emotional intimacy. Such a move would result in a stronger marriage, which would in turn reduce the likelihood that the couple would divorce.

Suicide

My instant reaction is one of sadness whenever I hear of a suicide; especially among those who are very young. Recent suicide stories of youths ending their lives have peppered the front pages of the local media. One story told of a young man who committed suicide because he felt that he was not adequately endowed and that his sexual organs were too small. Another account was shared of a primary school student who chose to end her life because she was too stressed by the upcoming examinations. Yet another report told the story of a youth who excused himself to use the restroom, but instead took the MRT train to another location, and ended his life after jumping from the top of a block of HDB apartments.

These stories depict a sad state of affairs among the youths in Singapore. While there are accounts of elderly people who choose to end their lives because they feel that life is meaningless and that their children do not care for them, suicide instances among the young are largely due to their lack of self esteem, and in a number of cases, a highly stressed life.

My view on suicide has largely been shaped by the Christian belief that all life is a gift from God and that we are created in His image. Hence, to end a life that has been given to us is in my opinion morally wrong. Moreover, people who commit suicide tend to think only of themselves and neglect to consider the feelings of those around them. Therefore, suicide letters found after their departure often tell about their feelings that life is empty, or that there are strong causes for their suicide acts. These letters however completely neglect to consider how their deaths would affect those of their loved ones. Indeed many immediate family members are unable to cope with the grief of the suicide and a number of them also follow suit to take their lives. Even worse are the actions of the individuals who murder their family members before choosing to kill themselves. These acts, while masquerading as feats of love for their family members, are actually selfish actions which only consider the desires of the individual.

Violence

            The act of violence is often manifested in individuals who either have been bullied in their childhood, or on the other hand, have been repressed by dominant families. This can be illustrated through the positive reinforcement that bullies receive when they get their own way all the time. It can also be seen in repressed individuals, who choose the path of violence as a coping mechanism to manage the years of repressed anger and hurt received at the hands of controlling parents. Both extremities of childhood conditioning shape an individual who possesses a belief that by using violence, he or she would be able to resolve all the problems at hand.

Family violence stories are a common feature in many media articles. A common thread would be that a young and vulnerable woman chooses to marry someone whom she feels is strong and would be able to take care of her. Unfortunately, due to deficits in the woman’s perceptions of strength and vulnerability issues, the person she chooses tends to be one who has a dominant streak. Marital tensions, coupled with negative influences on the husband, such as gambling, drinking or substance abuse, could then push the man to verbally, emotionally and physically abuse his wife. Oftentimes the wife would make a decision to leave her husband, but would then relent when he soothes her with nice words and promises not to abuse her again. However, these promises are forgotten the next time the husband returns to his gambling ways or to the nearest pub.

Often unsaid are the deep hurts that linger long after the acts of violence are committed. These hurts could be manifested in the wife, long after she finally chooses to divorce her husband, or more insidiously in the lives of the children, who grow up to either become abusers themselves, or conversely become passive individuals, incapable of understanding what love is all about. There are, however, a minority who rise above their history of hurts to become champions of the under-privileged, and who choose to themselves end the violence in the world by taking up the banner for the millions of people on this earth who are unable to raise their own concerns to the global community.

Family Structure

            A stable family structure is the key towards a well-developed individual. It is my view that children who grow up within the context of a functional family structure receive the necessary conditions which predispose them towards becoming well-adjusted adults. This could likely be due to the influence of supportive and nurturing parents, who build a protective safety net by providing stability to the family, offering an environment for their children to develop to their fullest potential without being distracted by destabilising forces. Such forces, which could be caused by a broken family, absentee parents or obsessive parents, often exert unhealthy influences on the child, causing him or her to develop in a dysfunctional manner.

            The importance of stability and stable family structures in the development of a child cannot be over-emphasised. This is as children need to cultivate a healthy self image and self esteem during their early years. In the absence of a stable family environment for the child to experiment and develop, life skills such as how to interact socially and how to manage emotions are not learnt effectively. This results in individuals who eventually become maladjusted to adult society.

            Inasmuch as most children require the presence of a stable family structure from which to develop to their fullest potential, there are also children who manage to do so without a semblance of family stability. In such situations, close friends or adult mentors provide the physical and emotional support which these children need, and take over the roles initially designed for parents. Such a surrogate family structure has become more commonplace in today’s society, with rising divorce rates as well as an increase in the instances of absentee parenthood. It is no wonder then that a breakdown in the family has led to higher divorced rates as well as in an increase in the number of dysfunctional individuals, people who are in need of mental and emotional help.

No idea why these past couple of entries have been about the family - I guess I've been thinking alot about what are the things that really matter to me - part of an assignment for my counselling psychology class... Maybe that's why... Or maybe it happens to be the way my life has been...

I just came back from a simple family dinner. Mum, Amah & Ah Kong, Sue and me... Nothing out of the ordinary - just a meal together on a weekday night... Yes the food was good, and yes, food has always been important to me, but it was more the time that we spent together that mattered... Telling Ah Kong for the upteenth time that I've graduated and am working... Telling Amah that her Mee Siam is the best in the world... Telling Mum that I've grown up and can take care of myself...

I remember another family dinner almost a month back. It was the farewell meal for my dear half-sister Min who was to have flown off to the States the next day for her university studies. A dinner at Dad's house with fine wine and delicious food. Again, the food and wine were enjoyable, but they were not the most important... What meant more was the time we spent together - hearing Dad and Min play the guitar together under the stars, enjoying the evening meal with Sue by my side, and feeling along with my younger half-sister Lyn when she wept at not being able to send dearest Min off at the airport...

I've come to realise that the best things in life are found in those around you. Of course I hope for better pay, of course I hope to have a better home entertainment system, of course I hope to get a better computer system... But when it comes to the crux, these things don't mean anything to me at all. I can say without flinching an eyelid that I'm prepared to let go of all these things if God desires that of me. Not so my family.

No matter what, my family means most to me. They've shaped the person I've become - from my mannerisms and idiosyncrisies, to the things I enjoy in life. I know I've not always appreciated my family, especially in the early years during the separation and divorce period, and also during my self-absorbed teenage years; but I know now that I would be at a loss without my family. Truly I can say that God has blessed my life greatly - with a wonderful job serving the young people I've been called to serve, with a wonderful ministry in church again serving the dear youths God has led me to serve, but most of all with a dear family I deeply love.

    I just came back from a family gathering at Sue's grandma's place. Had a really enjoyable time together just having dinner and playing board games. Sue's family is really close; they meet every Sunday to spend dinner together and to enjoy each other's company. Today we celebrated the return of an uncle from Canada and an aunt and cousin from Malaysia; but it would seem like any other week in terms of the laughter that was shared and the fun we all had.

    I've always felt that it's such a joy to be around families whose members love each other alot, and who go the extra mile to do that little something for one another. These are the families that are very close, and I know that when any crisis comes, they pull together to care for each other.

    This is something that we're hoping to see come to pass among the families of the youths in our church. Yesterday we had a family service for that purpose - to serve as a catalyst for the youths' parents to partner alongside the youth ministry; to joinly minister to the youths. Indeed it was a touching moment to witness youths and parents praying together, and to see that a group of mothers have risen up to initiate a prayer movement for the youths. We're hoping that the desire to pray will be contagous, and that the fathers will also join in. Indeed one exciting development we're looking forward to will be the launch of a family devotional guide and the cultivation of prayer within the family. As one very wise youth worker shared - many parents tend to pray at the onset of their child's birth, that the baby in their arms would one day grow to have the heart of David or the courage of Esther. However, fifteen years down the road, these parents become frustrated at how seemingly rebelious their teenage children have become; so much so that many of them forget the prayer they had made so many years ago.

    Looking at my own family, I cannot help but thank God. Inasmuch as my family is not perfect - despite my parents' separation at a young age and the subsequent divorce, I have still benefitted from an atmosphere of love which my mum cultivated over the years. It was Mum who had instilled in me a love for writing and a keen sense of adventure. It was also through her support that I've learnt many social skills which are so needed in today's world. As for my dad, although he was absent for most of my childhood years, he has in recent years shown more concern for me, and because of Dad I have learnt to appreciate the finer things in life. Yes, my family is not perfect, but that we try to meet at least once a week for dinner, and that we still talk on the things that matter - that's good enough. It is my desire that the entire family will one day come to know God  - that'll be more than enough for me.

Traversing the Land of the Rising Sun - Japan 2006 Travelogue (30 Apr-15 May 06)

From sprawling metropolis to untouched enclaves of natural beauty

And all in a time-span of just over two weeks

That was our journey from the busy Japanese capital Tokyo, up north to secluded Hokkaido, and back south to urban Nagoya.

It was a journey that had been sitting on the drawing board for years. Ever since a mission trip to Japan eight years ago, I had been enchanted by the island country of my travels – enticed by the delicious delights of sashimi and tempura, captivated by the poetic yet fast-paced language, entertained by the melodious songs and exciting drama serials, but above all enthralled by the fascinating way of life that the people live – the heart and soul of Japanese culture itself.

It all finally came to pass this year, when I finally managed to beg/cajole/coerce/persuade a friend from NUS Campus Crusade for Christ, Lijie, to come along with me for the trip. In actuality it was much easier as Lijie had gone on his own Japan trip last year, and was keen to visit the country again.

Our first stop was Tokyo, the pulsating heart of Japan – a place described as one that does not sleep – quite a fair description if you consider the round-the-clock flashing neon signs screaming for attention and attempting to sway the masses to the pachinko outlets and other equally unwholesome joints. Instead I chose to enjoy Tokyo by day, and spent many hours exploring fashionable youthful district Harajuku, as well as commercial Shibuya. In the midst of rushing for trains that arrive on the dot and weaving my way through a sea of Japanese youth, I managed to take the time to enjoy a quiet meal at a side cafe in the busy business district Shinjuku. It was also amazing how I managed to communicate with the Tokyo-born owner in the few words of Japanese that I know, as we conversed over Japanese and local snacks. It was also a treat to visit the charming Tsukiji Market for a scrumptious sushi breakfast, that although a little heavy on the wallet, the sushi was nonetheless the freshest and best I’ve ever eaten.

Culturally, I satisfied myself by visiting the Imperial Palace, home of the much-revered Emperor and his family. Although the status of the Emperor has been somewhat diminished since he was displaced from his status as a god, the Japanese still hold him in high regard, and it was interesting to at least be able to see the home of such a respected individual from the outside. It was also memorable to visit the infamous Yasukuni Shrine, the nationalist memorial at the centre of an ongoing political controversy – with the heart of the issue being whether the current Prime Minister should pay respects to Japanese war dead whom some in the international community believe to be war criminals from an era when the world was at war.

The sights and sounds of Tokyo notwithstanding, I felt the most delightful aspect of the trip was our stay in the home of my NUS Campus Crusade mentor Patrick. It was truly a joy to reminisce with Patrick during the three nights we stayed at his house – most enjoyable was the last night, when his wife Estella prepared for us a most delicious dinner of gyoza and clam soup, and when we were able to indulge in quality family time with the three children Elisha, Megume and Hitoshi.

When we finally had to leave Tokyo, it was not without longing for the warm hospitality of Patrick and his family. Yet we had to leave Tokyo on a cold spring morning, in order to catch the first train at 4.40am – all in an Amazing Race-like sprint for the flight to Sapporo at 7.30am. And in true Amazing Race fashion, we managed to avoid elimination by entering the plane just three minutes shy of the scheduled departure time, no thanks to stringent security checks in a busy airport which was struggling to cope with the many travellers on the first of the three-day Golden Week holidays.

In comparison to labyrinth-like Tokyo, Sapporo seemed much easier to navigate around. The grid system established by the city planners definitely made things so much more tourist-friendly. It was also much cheaper and more straightforward to get around as we could access most places on foot, as compared to Tokyo, where we had to contend with the exorbitant train fares coupled with a complicated rail network.

During the short span of one day, we managed to visit most of the city’s sights, but the most memorable for me was definitely the Nijo Fish Market, where I got to taste samples of the delicious hairy crab as well as the lip-smacking meal of umi and ikura, the local specialities of sea urchin and salmon roe, resting on a bed of soft Japanese rice, and accompanied by a delicious miso-base soup. Equally breathtaking was the night scene from Mt Moiwa, a ropeway journey away, where I was captivated by the spectacular Sapporo sky line, and was mesmerised by the magic of the Spring night.

It was time to head to the scenic Daisetsuzan National Park. The journey itself was quite something as we had to take a two-hour bus journey to nearby Asahikawa, before heading via another bus to Asahidake, in the heart of the national park itself. But it was all worthwhile as we ascended the mountain, and began to see patches of white engulf the landscape; Daisetsuzan has after all been dubbed “the Roof of Hokkaido”, and it should not have been surprising for the national park to have been covered by carpets of snow, even whilst most of Japan was thawing with the advent of Spring.

In all, the three days spent in Daisetsuzan were all worthwhile. I recall a harrowing experience during the second day there – when I decided to venture for a walk alone along the cross-country skiing trails there. Lijie had retired for the day, and being the adventurer I am, I decided to continue alone that afternoon, the rain notwithstanding, and trek through the paths in my rubber boots. It was truly picturesque, hiking in a landscape blanketed by snow, with the whiteness dazzling and tempered only by the presence of evergreen trees, which dotted the scene. With my trusty compass in my hand, and the map provided by the local tourism office, I felt confident that I would be able to find my way back to the lodge. It was a little chilly, but I had on my comfy Spring coat and warm gloves, and was all set to conquer the land.

Halfway through the trek, I decided to take a short detour and follow a set of footprints up a hill, where I believed I would be able to capture a more interesting picture with my camera. The footprints ended abruptly in the snow, and I decided to trudge on, convinced that I was following the map correctly and that I would be able to take a short cut by climbing the hill and descending on the other side to meet up with the trail once again. I finally reached the top of the hill, and proceed to make my way down the other side, to meet up with the trail which was ahead of me, only that it was down a rather steep incline.

Then I suddenly realised that my left foot was stuck in the snow. I had walked into a field of really soft snow and was now waist-deep in it. I struggled to get my foot out and finally succeeded, minus the boot, which was now deeply embedded in the snow. I attempted to put my foot back into the boot in a bid to wrench it out, but no amount of tugging would make it budge. Thankfully my right foot was close to a tree and I was able to cling on to the branch to support me as I simultaneously attempted to dislodge the boot. The ice had now gotten into my boot, and it had begun to melt. It was getting cold. As I murmured a frantic prayer to God, I decided to use my hands to shovel away the snow from above my boot, hoping to be able to dig away enough snow so that the boot would be able to come out. The ice cut into my knuckles, which were now numb with cold and stinging with pain. The air around me began to mist. As time began to slowly tick away, I started to entertain the prospect that I would never again see another living soul.

After what seemed like close to half an hour of painstakingly shovelling away the snow from above the boot, I was finally able to wrench it out of the snow. I uttered a prayer of thanks to God and breathed a sigh of relief. It would be another hour or two before I would find my way back to the cosy hostel where we stayed, but I had learnt one important lesson that day - as I later scribbled in my journal - never to stray away from the beaten path. It’s especially so for hikers like me who might have thought they knew the way, but actually knew close to nothing about the actual ground conditions. The lesson took on a spiritual dimension in that the Christian walk is a long journey, and that although you have been following the trail most of the way, you might decide to seek a little adventure and wander off the beaten path – if only for a moment – but enough to land you deep into the pit of sin. And with every step you take, you find yourself sinking deeper and deeper. These incidents happen mostly when no one else is around. In such instances, it’s only God who can save you and bring you back to the right path.

The tense incident notwithstanding, our stay in Daisetsuzan was truly enjoyable. Noteworthy was our attempted hike to the peak of Asahidake, which was said to have been at a temperature of -3 degree celcius on the day we took the challenge. We got only about one-third the distance from the ropeway station to the peak before freezing winds and inadequate clothing forced us to turn back. But we were able to make our way down to the foot of the mountain, hiking along a path enveloped with fresh snow and sprinkled with pine trees, a snowscape of pure scenic bliss.

Our stay in Daisetsuzan was also enjoyable because of the delightful outdoor bath – the sento. At first it seemed strange to disrobe and head into the washing room with only your birthday suit, before thoroughly washing and then soaking in the steaming bath. However, after the first instance, it dawned upon me that the Japanese people have been doing this for centuries, and there was nothing to be shy about – after all God had indeed created all to be equal. The experience was multiplied as I had the opportunity to soak completely unclothed with only the snow and trees as my backdrop, but at the same time feeling completely warm and comfy due to the heat of the sento; a most contradictory occurrence.

It was time to head for slightly warmer regions, and we began our long journey back to Asahikawa, and again to Sapporo, before taking the night bus all the way east to Abashiri. It was then a morning train ride to Shari town, at the edge of Shiretoko National Park. We subsequently had to transit to another bus before finally arriving in Utoro town, right in the heart of the national park. By the time we got there, we began to understand why Shiretoko had been nicknamed “the End of the Earth” – no thanks to the inaccessible transport system and the difficulty of getting around.

The remoteness of Shiretoko had however also helped to seal its reputation as a place of unspoiled beauty. From breathtaking mountain views to astounding coastal panoramas; Shiretoko had them all. And the three days spent there truly seemed as though we had stepped into another world – one where the wild deer and mountain bears were the protagonists, and humans merely spectators in a celestial play of divine proportions.

We definitely enjoyed the recommended “touristy” sites such as the Furepe Falls, the Oshinkoshin Falls and the Goko – Five Lakes. However, I felt that Shiretoko’s beauty was best beheld in the locations not traversed by the multitudes. For instance, it was along the gushing Iwaobetsu River that I derived a sense of thrill; even as I travelled against the powerful winds towards the white pebble beach at the river’s mouth. And it was also at the same river that I truly understood what the ancient scribes meant when they wrote of deer panting after the flowing streams. While I enjoyed Shiretoko’s rivers, I also enjoyed hikes into the mountains, and it was during instances such as those that I gave thanks to God for His protection – especially when I encountered mamma bear and her cub, which although some distances away, were still within striking range. Thankfully they merely wandered calmly into the path, before sauntering gingerly back into the woods. And just as I enjoyed my walk into the wild, I also derived pleasure from trekking the long expanse of coast. It’s truly every hiker’s dream to have the clear blue sea on the left, complete with its featured rocks and pebbled beaches, and the mountainous landscape on the right, interspersed with natural streams and occasional rest-points.

Our trip to Shiretoko would not have been complete had we not stayed in a traditional ryokan, otherwise known as a Japanese inn. The Minshoku Taiyo made that stay all worthwhile, not least because of its delightful owner-hostess, who fed us with satisfying meals of ikura (salmon roe so fresh that it still rested on the umbilical cord of the salmon), sake (salmon sashimi so juicy yet crisp – unlike any I’ve ever eaten before), ika (yummy cuttlefish slices that parted so easily with every tooth bite – totally unlike the rubbery types in places elsewhere) and other local fish delights. Every meal was made complete with a different type of miso soup, daikon (pickles) and of course rice. And to complete the “traditional” experience, our hostess would arrange nightly visits for us to an outdoor onsen (hot spring), with a chauffeured car fetching us to and from the onsen, to soak in all the natural minerals that emanated from within the bowels of the earth.

We could still remember the hospitality and laughter of our innkeeper as we headed back south to suburban Nagoya, the residence of our Singapore friends Pamela and Candy during their stay in Japan. We were indeed blessed to be housed at the Campus Crusade for Christ lodge there, and there we had the opportunity to befriend Masayoshi, a Crusade staff well-versed not only in English, but Chinese as well. We truly enjoyed such moments, and it was these moments, spent with our dear friends, that made the trip so much more meaningful.

Nagoya was the base from where we began our short induction into traditional Japanese history and culture. Proceeding first to traditional Takayama, we soaked in an olden-day Japan, one surrounded by mountains and somewhat insulated from the influences of Western and even modern culture. It would have been delightful to walk along the ancient streets, if not for the rain that poured incessantly that day. It was, however, along the historical Nakasendo Trail, the olden-day postal route from Tsugamo to Megaso, that we were treated to Japanese hospitality at its very best. Halfway along the seven-kilometre trek, we decided to stop for a meal in one of the roadside inns. Noticing that we were clearly not locals from the way we ordered our food, one of the customers asked where we were from, and when he found out that we came from Singapore, he ordered beer for us on his account. He then proceeded to our table and attempted a communication on topics as diverse as Genghis Khan and Chinese culture. Thankfully Lijie was the better linguist among the two of us, and I was able to sit and enjoy my food quietly as Lijie wrecked his brain to think of the Japanese words to answer our newfound friend.

Our two weeks in Japan had come to an end. As we packed our belongings to head for the airport, I couldn’t help but rejoice at the memorable times that we had spent there. I knew that I had not yet embarked on my last trip to Japan - the country still beckoned me; and I knew with a certainty that I’d be back there one day to soak in the rich Japanese culture once again – to enjoy the breathtaking sights, taste the delicious food and converse with the wonderful people; but most importantly, to imbibe the heart and soul of Japan itself.