I remember a Multiply post by a newly-married church friend who wrote that there were moments each day that he would wake up to enjoy the sunlight shining on his wife's face and thank God for providing him with such a wonderful lady. I share his sentiments.

It's indeed been a blessing to enjoy every waking moment with my dear wife Sue. We cherish the precious moments each morning when we walk along the canal to work; and before we reach home each evening we would already be exchanging sweet messages expressing how much we long to see each other.

Well, we're only entering the third month of married life but it already feels like we've been married for a lifetime. The stresses of learning to live with a new person have definitely been quite an experience for us; coupled with settling the remnants of house renovation work as well as coping with everyday concerns such as housework. And there are the times that we have carved out to spend with our families; which we have had to balance with the precious moments that we spend in youth ministry. I can only say that it's been God's grace that has carried us through.

It's my prayer that as we continue to journey through life walking hand in hand, that we would continue to keep our focus on the One who has been good to us all this while; that when the time comes for us to present an account of our lives to Him, that He would count us both as faithful servants; co-labourers in His kingdom of love and grace.

A pictoral history of 29 December 2007, one of the most momentous days in my life; a celebration of God's love :)

    The past two weeks have gone by in a whirl. I have apparently undergone two of the most stressful transitions in life - moving house and getting married. Everything's still surreal - with the latest being our move to our beautiful new home yesterday. But what's on my mind is the special day 29 December 2007, which will forever be etched in my memories.

    It was a day filled with precious memories - of a church filled with many dear friends and relatives; of a ceremony sealed with a solemn vow; of a celebration of love, of song, of youth... Most of all it was a recognition of the God who has been the source of who we were, are and will be.

    I am deeply moved when I think of all the people who worked so hard to make our wedding day such a special one not only for us, but for all who came. We have since spoken to a number of people who came to the wedding. Many of them have shared that they were deeply moved and ministered by the love that was felt at the wedding. I know it was the love of God that they felt. And we are deeply thankful that the day was so special.

    It's still new adjusting to married life, and whenever someone asks about my marital status, I still find it strange telling them that I'm married and the husband to a wonderful woman. Also adjusting to the fact that I'm now the head of a new household with its share of ups and downs. That's all part of life I guess; and as my dear youth pastor Matthew shared during the wedding - there's no such thing as perfect people and definitely no such thing as a perfect marriage.

    I know that as the magic of the "honeymoon effect" gradually loses its shine and the realities of married life sink in, we'd probably have our fair share of difficult moments. I guess that's when we'd look back on that special day and remember the God who made all things possible for us; to cling to the biblical bridegroom and to remember that He will always be there for His beautiful bride.

This video captures the essence of our wedding on 29 Dec 07. Created by my dear CG mate Jared who's a wonderful photographer.

Christmas morning has always been a time when I wake up and allow the night's euphoria to settle down; a time when I take a second look at my presents and remember the people who gave them to me; a time when I reflect on the things that hold meaning and the people I love.

Christmas Eve 2007 was special. In the midst of a busy wedding preparation and house renovation schedule, Sue and I were still able to spend time with the people close to us. For me, the Christmas Eve lunch with my cousins was precious in that it was a rare gathering for us - only the second time in thirty years that we have gathered together as cousins with no reason other than to spend time with each other. Sue and I have been together for almost two years, and I've been blessed to see how close her family is. It's since been my desire to also see my family grow closer. Really hope to start a tradition of gathering the cousins on Christmas Eve - and more than that - to see us walk through the journey of life together...

In the evening we headed over to Sue's grandma's place to enjoy the family Christmas dinner. What was meaningful was the time spent together. Family members shared that when Sue's grandma passed away more than a year ago, there were some fears that the family would not meet as often and be as close as they have always been. They gave thanks that this did not happen. Instead, the Christmas dinner was also a time to remember Sue's grandma and the full life that she led. All was made more meaningful when we headed over to the house of a close friend of the grandmother - to share with her the Christmas love and join our voices in song.

It's different when we choose to remember the meaning of Christmas from the perspective of someone whose life had been changed by the first Christmas - when God first came to earth in the form of man. That's why we commemorate this season through the sharing of love - the love that was first given to us. I'm postulating that one of the reasons why God gave us families was for us to experience to a small extent the intimacy and love that He shared within His own "family" - the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

    "The date of the final resale transaction has been fixed for Monday 3rd December 2007 at 4pm." That letter from the HDB, just two and a half weeks ago, was what we had been looking out for since we first went to the HDB resale office more than a month ago. It meant that we would finally be the proud owners of our own house.

    Today, that reality began to sink in as we opened the doors to the construction workers who will transform our place into an "Asian contemporary resort". That's the theme for our flat, and our purchases over the past few months - the furniture, lights, toilet fittings, and even the tiles - have all conformed to this idea.

    We can now say with a certain authority that we know the difference between a "solid" table top and a similar item made from "post-form". Then there's also our familiarity with furniture precincts such as IMM and famous lighting districts such as Balestier. Throw in the occasional warehouse sale, and we are now poised to dispense some measure of advise to future homeowners.

    We are thankful that all our purchases have been good so far. There have of course been a number of occasions that we have regretted buying certain items, but that's all part and parcel of life. And we're of course thankful that we managed to secure a good renovation contractor who has always been ready to hear our new ideas - from a feature wall made of "broken-marble" mosaic, to a walnut brown bar counter in the kitchen.

    Today as we took one final look before the construction workers came in, we took a deep breath and said a prayer for us and for the house - that it will always be a safe place for our family, and that it will be an abode to all those who seek meaning in a dying world. It's highly symbolic that the workers were lugging in the huge bags of cement on the first day of the renovation work - that's as we desire that God's love will be the cement with which our marriage will be constructed upon.

Beginning a new life together :)

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

These words by missionary martyr Jim Elliot have resounded in my heart ever since I first heard them many years ago. They reveal the heartbeat of Wheaton College graduate Jim Elliot, who chose to surrender his worldly career and life to God, venturing into Equador against conventional wisdom and making first contact with the Auca Indians, a tribe known for their brutality. Jim was later killed, along with four of his friends, by the Aucas, who had mistakenly assumed that the five men intended to eat them. The entire tribe later came to give their lives to Christ through the work of the Holy Spirit, after Jim's widow Elisabeth took her daughter Valerie to live among the tribe for two and a half years. The ministry of Elisabeth and the other widows touched the Aucas as they could not understand how these women could forgive them despite what they had done to their husbands.

I was reminded of the Elliots' story yesterday after watching a musical staged by Mt Carmel BP Church entitled Love Above All (the photo above depicts a young Elisabeth who was at that time experiencing emotional turmoil, torn between her love for Jim and her love for missions).

Attending the musical with a group of youth leaders whom I'm mentoring, I posed a question to them - Was it "worth it" for Jim Elliot to make the trip to the Auca Indians? While I'm interested to hear their response, I'm personally at a loss regarding how to answer my own question. I mean - is the loss of human life ever "worth it"? Even if it results in the salvation of an entire tribe? What about the current hostage crisis in Afghanistan and the death of the Korean pastor? Was it "worth it" for the Koreans to make the trip in the first place? Even if through this incident the entire Christian community has been rallied in prayer? I don't know the answer; only one person does. 

John 15:13 reads "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." It was because God first loved us, that's why He sent His son Jesus to descend to earth as a man to die for the salvation for all mankind. There is indeed no greater love than this.

I'm certain that Jim and Elisabeth Elliot fully understood this principle. In her book Under the Shadow of the Almighty, Elisabeth shared the passion behind her decision to travel with Jim into the mission field. She wrote about Jim's unwavering decision to give up a respectable job as a teacher to pursue his calling. It was the same for her - that's why she chose to forgive those who killed her husband and made the unimaginable decision to instead bring her daughter to live among the Aucas. I'm certain these were choices that were modelled after a man who chose to die so that all humanity be saved - the life of Jesus the Christ.

 

I can understand now why couples are so busy preparing for their marriage. For starters there's the wedding preparations - drawing up the guest list, booking the church and dinner locations, choosing a bridal studio and going for the photoshoot, finalising the helper list, meeting the wedding coordinators, drawing up the actual day wedding schedule, deciding on the folral decorations, the list goes on...

Besides that, many couples are also tied down with the other physical preparations - such as deciding where to live after the wedding; and if they decide to live on their own, they would then need to buy an apartment and renovate the new home. 

I'm thankful that for us, this process has been simplified somewhat. We're indeed very blessed that there's no need to look for a new home, as I'm already living in an apartment which I call my own. What's however important is that when Sue moves in, for the place to be "ours" and not only "mine". Hence the need for renovations so that the apartment can be shaped by both our personalities. And since my flat will conveniently also go through upgrading, it makes sense to take advantage of the situation and concurrently renovate the apartment.

We've therefore been spending much of our time together seeking out items for our place. A very enjoyable experience overall as both of us enjoy beautiful things and it's been quite fun choosing lovely things that we both know we'll enjoy - like the delicate Thai silk which we bought during our recent trip to Bangkok (featured in the photo above and which will be used to make curtains), the lovely maroon-coloured bed linen at 70% off (thanks to the Great Singapore Sale), and our latest acquistion - a comfy King Coil mattress and bed frame set... 

We know there're many more things that we'll need to purchase together - like a new dining room set, toilet sinks, a desk for the study room etc; but so far we're happy with all our purchases. I think the main reason why this is so is because we've both learnt to consider what each other likes - and to accommodate each other every time we make a decision. In many ways this is representative of the marriage life, during which we know we'll have to make many decisions together. It's not merely the humourous view of marriage that depicts the husband as the head of the house and the wife as the neck that turns him around; rather it's more that both husband and wife share joint responsibility of the household and that all decisions are made in mutual agreement. It's truly a high calling for the husband to be the head of the household, and this is a position that is only tenable if he is under the authority of God.

Truly marriage preparation means more than just preparing for the wedding - it's preparing for a whole life to be lived together under the authority of God.

 

We had a most enjoyable day embarking on one of our first major projects together as a couple - the wedding photoshoot...

A feature of most weddings in contemporary Singapore, the photoshoot has often been associated with long hours of preparation, bad weather, stressful schedules, persistent photographers, chessy photos, the list goes on... But thankfully our wedding photoshoot had none of that.

We awoke on the 24th May 2007 to bright sunshine, blue sky and white clouds - quite a contrast to the weather forecast of "thunderstorms and rain over a few areas in the late morning", a phenomenon which had occurred consistently for the past two days. It was one instance when the weatherman got it wrong, and we enjoyed the sunny weather all day long.

Assembling our items in packages both big and small, we hailed a taxi and made our way to the quaint photo studio nestled in Emerald Hill, a relic of an era lost in time; but all the more fitting to serve as the location for our photoshoot.

We were grateful to the make-up artist, who had a special way of transforming my beloved fiancee into the different personas of an Elizabethan princess, a cottage girl, a Peranakan matriach and of course a radiant bride. This complemented the sweet flowers and dazzling accessories, and all at once we appreared ready to walk down the aisle there and then.

Our photographer too, seemed specially selected to suit our personality and preferences in the manner with which he took the photos. He was able to transform our selected locations of Emerald Hill, Botanic Gardens and Sentosa into places that seemed either warped from a different era, or transported from another part of the world. And he never spoke a harsh word, gently nudging us to "look at each other as though you're whispering to one another", or to "smile harder", or to "turn around and look as though someone just called out to you".

As the sun set and we finally made our way home, we could only express our thanks to God our Father in Heaven who has taken care of us all the way; by providing us with wonderful weather, by giving us a wonderful make-up artist and photographer, but most importantly, by giving us one another to love and cherish.

There's no doubt that the day did not go by without its unplanned hitches - we forgot to take our floral bouquet for the outdoor shoot, we forgot to bring our extra outdoor outfits for the location shots, we had to rush to Sentosa to catch the sunset by the beach, we faced some obstacles in removing the bridal gown... However, in all, the day was a most enjoyable one for the both of us, and a day we will remember for a long time to come.

Our marriage preparation class mentors shared with us that the wedding is like one major project that each couple has to work together on. And in many ways, although the marriage is more important than the wedding per se, but the wedding in and of itself serves as a physical representation of how the couple would work together for the rest of their lives. Taken in such a light, I'm thankful that our wedding photoshoot was such a memorable experience for the both of us. To God be the Glory!

Today we've finally confirmed the major arrangements for our wedding on the 29th December this year. After weeks of persistent phone calls by Sue and her mum, we finally found a place suitable for the occasion, and decided on the lunch reception venue for the wedding - at a cosy restaurant situated at the foot of Mt Faber...

By confirming the lunch reception venue, we're now able to confirm the church - Grace Assembly of God at Tanglin - which is a really warm church that both Sue and I love. And since the family dinner venue had already been decided upon earlier, it seems we're now set and ready to go :)

It's truly been quite a busy time for us both. Within the span of one week we've bought my suit and the wedding bands. We're also taking time to prepare for the photoshoot which will take place a little more than a week away.

Today I also took time to finally draw up the list of wedding helpers - and have realised that there are so many people who will be involved in the wedding - can say I'm overwhelmed by the love that these dear friends and family members have for us - in offering to help us in so many ways; from our cousins who will be the key members of the worship team, to our dear CG members who will help out with the reception, and of course the youths who will be a great blessing in serving as ushers. I can only say that God has been with us every step of the journey - especially by bringing to us so many people to minister to us in their service at the wedding.

The road is long, and we've been learning at our marriage preparation class that the wedding should not be the only thing we focus on as we come together as one. What's more important is to look towards our marriage, which will be the start of a new family that I will build together with Sue - to cleave from our parents, and to hold fast to each other, creating a new family which is founded on God as its bedrock. A cord of three strands is not easily divided - and the marriage has to encompass our love for God above our love for each other.

No idea why these past couple of entries have been about the family - I guess I've been thinking alot about what are the things that really matter to me - part of an assignment for my counselling psychology class... Maybe that's why... Or maybe it happens to be the way my life has been...

I just came back from a simple family dinner. Mum, Amah & Ah Kong, Sue and me... Nothing out of the ordinary - just a meal together on a weekday night... Yes the food was good, and yes, food has always been important to me, but it was more the time that we spent together that mattered... Telling Ah Kong for the upteenth time that I've graduated and am working... Telling Amah that her Mee Siam is the best in the world... Telling Mum that I've grown up and can take care of myself...

I remember another family dinner almost a month back. It was the farewell meal for my dear half-sister Min who was to have flown off to the States the next day for her university studies. A dinner at Dad's house with fine wine and delicious food. Again, the food and wine were enjoyable, but they were not the most important... What meant more was the time we spent together - hearing Dad and Min play the guitar together under the stars, enjoying the evening meal with Sue by my side, and feeling along with my younger half-sister Lyn when she wept at not being able to send dearest Min off at the airport...

I've come to realise that the best things in life are found in those around you. Of course I hope for better pay, of course I hope to have a better home entertainment system, of course I hope to get a better computer system... But when it comes to the crux, these things don't mean anything to me at all. I can say without flinching an eyelid that I'm prepared to let go of all these things if God desires that of me. Not so my family.

No matter what, my family means most to me. They've shaped the person I've become - from my mannerisms and idiosyncrisies, to the things I enjoy in life. I know I've not always appreciated my family, especially in the early years during the separation and divorce period, and also during my self-absorbed teenage years; but I know now that I would be at a loss without my family. Truly I can say that God has blessed my life greatly - with a wonderful job serving the young people I've been called to serve, with a wonderful ministry in church again serving the dear youths God has led me to serve, but most of all with a dear family I deeply love.